Archive for June, 2009
Vets, Catch Ups & Baths
by Matt on Jun.24, 2009, under Blogs
This weeks blog is here, hold your breath, sit up & on we go.
This week Milo features in the blog again, so all his fans out there can have their fix of Milo’s life.
Friday was that time again when he had to go to the vets to have his regular check up. We had, in the past month, done his flea treatment & given him his worming pill, so al the vet had to do was generally check him over. So we get there, the vet is running late, I was also a bit annoyed to se it was a locum (aunty Felicity was on holiday) as I hadn’t been told it wouldn’t be Felicity that saw him. So we have to wait, fine for Milo who can whittle away ages sniffing round the dog foods and other dogs, not so good for me who has to watch him & stop him when he gets the idea that he could eat the food as well as sniff it if he chews the bag!!! In we go to the vet (why are most vets Australian?) who checked the little angel over, all was good & I was informed he was in perfect health. Though he did go to sit when she put the thermometer in him!!!!!!! She also commented on how well trained (I thank you (I am bowing now)) & behaved he is, stating that she wishes all pet owners would get the balance between loving & training correct, my head was a swelling as you can imagine.
On the Saturday there was, as usual, no Jubilee Line (how crap is that line) so I arranged to meet P at Greenwich. I got there early & remembered that a friend was now working there, she is a door person at Wetherspoons. So I popped into see her first, it was really good to catch up as I had not seen her for a couple of years, so that started the evening off quite nicely. Then P got there, & we went off to find somewhere (yes Chuckles you guessed it didn’t you) to eat. P asked me to decide where we would go. So I walked up the high street with him making suggestions, 4 in all! No, was his response to each one, so in the end we headed to the Chinese buffet there, which upon our arrival we noticed was no longer a buffet but was now a normal Chinese restaurant. In we went not knowing what tom expect, what we didn’t was to have to wait 15 minutes before the waiter even asked what we wanted to drink. This of course set me off moaning, the least thing will set me off on a rant so this was excellent ammunition for me. We ordered, the food arrived, I was coiled & ready to go into one about the tiniest thing wrong. How deflated, not to mention surprised was I to discover that the food was really nice, we both enjoyed our ,meals, so if you’re in the area, and of course like Chinese food, then Saigon in Nelson Street is a good place to go. Its also reasonably priced which added to the attraction.
Sunday saw me cycling to the west end to see a friend. It seemed to be a week for catching up on friends I had not seen for quite a while. I had not seen this friend for a few years either. The lucky guy is off to Thailand for 5 months soon, how cool is that then. So I went to meet him as we had arranged to meet up. He is writing a auto biography & wanted to know about my blog as it is of course so well written with a great writing style. So I had taken my laptop along with me. I showed him my blog, we chatted loads, quite a lot to talk about after not seeing him for a few years. It was good to catch up & see him again, always nice to see friends but especially so when you haven’t seen them for quite some time.
Monday was Milo’s bath day. Regular readers will know that this is usually quite an occasion as he hates, & is terrified (well he is terrified of most things, not the bravest of dogs is Milo) of water. So I stripped down to my 
shorts (calm down in the back row please) as I knew I was about to get soaking wet, & scratched to hell. I put the shampoo in the jug ready, got some water in the bath for him. Milo is pretty clever little dog & knows what is happening most times, this was one of those times. Coaxing him didn’t work, telling him didn’t work, so I went & picked him up & carried him fro the lounge, at this point I knew he was certain what was going on. He made sure that he dug his claws in my shoulders so as to have his pre-revenge before I even started. When we got there he struggled a bit but when I stroked & reassured him I was amazed as he calmed down & just stood there whilst I shampooed & washed him, no struggling, no scratching, no crying, just a few shivers. This is really astounding as he has scratched friends & groomers to pieces in the past, so I guess I must somehow have a calming influence on him. I am ashamed to admit I usually leave his grooming to P & our friend, but yesterday I did it myself, and was glad I did as he was really well behaved.
shorts (calm down in the back row please) as I knew I was about to get soaking wet, & scratched to hell. I put the shampoo in the jug ready, got some water in the bath for him. Milo is pretty clever little dog & knows what is happening most times, this was one of those times. Coaxing him didn’t work, telling him didn’t work, so I went & picked him up & carried him fro the lounge, at this point I knew he was certain what was going on. He made sure that he dug his claws in my shoulders so as to have his pre-revenge before I even started. When we got there he struggled a bit but when I stroked & reassured him I was amazed as he calmed down & just stood there whilst I shampooed & washed him, no struggling, no scratching, no crying, just a few shivers. This is really astounding as he has scratched friends & groomers to pieces in the past, so I guess I must somehow have a calming influence on him. I am ashamed to admit I usually leave his grooming to P & our friend, but yesterday I did it myself, and was glad I did as he was really well behaved. The evening saw Milo (gee he is a celebrity this week) & I heading to my friend (& Milo’s aunt apparently) as she had moved into a new flat, ever the curious I had to go & inspect, give my expert opinion on the place. We met at her work place in Sloane Square, she was late coming out, how dare she put work over me!!!! We then walked back to her flat, its a delightful walk, through Battersea Park, I was eating Reece Peanut Butter Pieces (thanks Chuckles) & offered her some, forgetting she had a peanut allergy!!!!! When we arrived at her flat before I had a chance to give my analysis Milo had run round inspecting the place, it seemed it met with his approval as he came back wanting to play. I had to agree with him, the flat is fantastic. The lounge is a nice size as is the bedroom, but the 2 boons are the attic room, I love attic rooms, how cool are they, and the kitchen. The downside to our flat is the kitchen has no where we can sit. But this flat has a large kitchen & you can sit there. It was great to see her as well of course as she is one of our best friends.
Yesterday was kind of cool, well apart from me being a twat (see below blog). P & I, with the rat, went for a walk up the canal. We went to the butchers to get some meat (like why else would we go to the butchers!), then P got chicken for himself (cooked) & a little pizza for me. It was really nice to sit there & eat in the grass together, with Milo crying, begging & pestering. We then walked back down the canal, round the basin (the marina type basin not wash basin) before going to the local park. We sat there & chatted whilst playing with the rat, then a little puppy westie came along, with her owner of course so we chatted a while.
Sid has been exceptionally naughty this week which is really out of order as his mummy has loads on her mind & is not having an easy time of it. My heart goes out to her & I do hope that all goes well with her & her husbands operations. As for that Sid, he wants to wither show more consideration for his mummy & daddy & less for his overstuffed belly.
Love & peace to you all.
What Really Matters
by Matt on Jun.24, 2009, under Blogs
I generally update this blog once a week. But I wanted to put this up as it is really important to me.
This week I had a real wake up call.
I am really bad for not appreciating when I am fortunate, I don’t always realise just how lucky I am, I neglect that which I should never neglect. I don’t value as I should what is really important to me.
I wont go into the details as I would be too ashamed to do that, but needless to say I am feeling pretty low done crap at the moment. I am privileged in this life as I have what most people crave & thrive for. I have a husband who really cares for me, he bends over backwards to make my life as comfortable & happy as it could be. I am now 40 & so have known a lot of people in my lifetime, but hands down I can honestly say that Little P is by far the most caring, kind and sweet of all the people I have known. He is so selfless & often thinks I don’t know that he goes without things he wants so as I can have the things I want.
When I met P, it was almost 6 years ago, I first saw him & realised within a couple of week that this guy is as beautiful on the inside as he is on the outside. He was something that I have never known before, he actually believed, & still does, that you can be partners for life & that you work at it. I had heard of this culture but never really seen it so personified.
I have put P through a lot, I lost my job last July & since then he has supported us both, & not once complained. He works really hard, then comes home & cooks for me as he says he is better at it then I am, he is as well. He always smiles when he sees me, whereas most groan in frustration. He puts up with my constant moaning.
But lately I have not realised just how blessed I am to have him, I have I am ashamed to say, taken him for granted. I have treated him so badly as all he asks is that I respect him, as he does me, that I treat him like I care. I have lost my way of late, in a pool of self pity & shallowness, rather than doing as I should. I should realise that I have someone who cherishes, adores & even looks up to me, I am so lucky to have him. Is it really so hard that I show him I feel the same, would it kill me to drop the fucking attitude, that I actually express my feelings. Would it hurt me to
Treat him as he does me?
TV Shows, Shopping & Interviews
by Matt on Jun.17, 2009, under Blogs
A warm welcome to you, nice to see you here, come here often do you? Either way good to see you, as you’re here I will tell you what I have been up to this past week, pull a chair up. Also a very massive welcome to any new readers that we have here, its fantastic to welcome you.
Been to a couple of television shows last week, one pretty good, one not what I was expecting in the slightest.
Friday saw us, us being P, my best friend & I, going to see the new Alan Carr chat show. Though we almost didn’t make it. P said at 3.00 he was going to the gym (I say the gym all he does is sit in the Jacuzzi & steam room, he thinks the bubbles give him a work out, go figure!) I said we were leaving at 5.00 so please don’t be late, how foolish I am , do I never learn, I should have said be back by 4.30. In he comes at 5.15 to get changed, so we were off to a late start before we left the flat.
But we did get there on time, after a lot of sweating, some foul language & extreme name calling, all from me I am ashamed to say. So we get in, on time (yes okay so I may have over reacted slightly on the way there). It was the same warm up guy as I had seen before, & he did the same routine, you really would think he would change it wouldn’t you really. It is however a rather amusing routine so no harm done. The Alan Carr came on, he really is very funny, though he is also as ugly, and misshapen as he looks on television, its a good job he is a celebrity else he would die a
virgin I would imagine. It wasn’t said in advance who the guests were so we had no clue. The first thing they did was do some video edits for that weeks show, it keeps it topical, they then edit it into the show that was recorded the previous week. Then they get on with recording the show you went to watch, that will be aired the week after you go. Anyway, I digress (no change there then) Alan Carr is very funny, you can se how he became famous as he is quite sharp. The guests were great, almost. First up was Samuel L Jackson, I am a big fan, there is hardly anyone as cool as him, he is just coolness. I was surprised as he is really funny & has a great comic side, quick the joker, he is also very frank so I can see quite a bit of editing there. The on came Ivana Trump, what a fucking self obsessed, self indulgent, stupid waste of space that bitch is. Still gave me a chance to have a nap. Then we had Katy Perry, I would have been satisfied with Samuel L Jackson but Katy Perry was icing on the cake. She was very good as well & she is really talented, well in my expert opinion, move over Cowell.
virgin I would imagine. It wasn’t said in advance who the guests were so we had no clue. The first thing they did was do some video edits for that weeks show, it keeps it topical, they then edit it into the show that was recorded the previous week. Then they get on with recording the show you went to watch, that will be aired the week after you go. Anyway, I digress (no change there then) Alan Carr is very funny, you can se how he became famous as he is quite sharp. The guests were great, almost. First up was Samuel L Jackson, I am a big fan, there is hardly anyone as cool as him, he is just coolness. I was surprised as he is really funny & has a great comic side, quick the joker, he is also very frank so I can see quite a bit of editing there. The on came Ivana Trump, what a fucking self obsessed, self indulgent, stupid waste of space that bitch is. Still gave me a chance to have a nap. Then we had Katy Perry, I would have been satisfied with Samuel L Jackson but Katy Perry was icing on the cake. She was very good as well & she is really talented, well in my expert opinion, move over Cowell.After we had watched the show being recorded P decided that he was hungry & wanted something to eat, over the bridge we walked & into Covent Garden where we walked for ages until he found somewhere he wanted to eat. He chose TGI Friday & I admit the snob in me initially thought, yuk, but I was surprised as I really enjoyed it there, I must have really changed, counselling does work. But P was sick there which was not good.
The Saturday I had tickets to the Graham Norton show, which I thought was a chat show, I was going along as was hoping there would be some good guests. I cant abide that odious little man Norton so it sure as hell wasn’t to se him. So I I go all excited wondering who the guests will be. Why oh why do I hate fucking television so much & not watch it? If I watched it I would have known its a fucking family prime time show. It was like hell on earth, even had the same warm up guy, with same fucking routine. To make the whole dire situation worse there was loads of audience participation, dance like this, move like that. But I have to say Norton is looking terrible, he looks old, he looks hunched, I thought they had brought one of the orcs from Lord of the Rings on, he really has aged badly, so the evening wasn’t a complete waste of time as I enjoyed seeing that, ha!Sunday P wanted to go buy a new suit, as he had an interview this week (I wont even begin to talk about that as the language will make Oliver Reed turn in his grave). So we went to the west en, we started in a store by Tottenham Court Road, then went to about 5 others up Oxford Street, I know this doesn’t sound many but it took a few hours as he had to try a suit on, then in a different size, then a different colour. He then traipsed us to the first shop we had been in & asked them to put one by, and another as he wanted a different size, if they couldn’t get that size he would buy the other one he had asked them to put by!
We then went down to Charring Cross Road to a Malaysian restaurant that we wanted to try. It was really nice, the food was good, and reasonably priced. Then the thunder bolt struck. P sat & somehow reasoned that maybe the sales guy in the shop was on commission & so maybe when he said the other store up in Bond Street didn’t have his size he was lying as he wanted the sale. So he had us walk all the way to Bond Street, where they didn’t have his size but he tried on a couple anyway!!!!
Today we have both had job interviews. His one I have already stated I will not talk about as it makes me
furious, that fucking shitty company that he works for are making him apply for his own job, cunts. I had one at the BBC which I think went okay, I managed to follow my friends (the one who farts in the cinema) advice & didn’t ramble on, hard to believe I know but I kept my answers concise, an all time first for me. So I think it went well, but who knows I mat have made a complete hash of it all.
furious, that fucking shitty company that he works for are making him apply for his own job, cunts. I had one at the BBC which I think went okay, I managed to follow my friends (the one who farts in the cinema) advice & didn’t ramble on, hard to believe I know but I kept my answers concise, an all time first for me. So I think it went well, but who knows I mat have made a complete hash of it all.As ever I have been going to the gym and hating it, but low & behold it is working as I used to have to breath in when I put my suit on but today I did it up with no effort whatsoever, so the plan to go from heather to gazelle, though still a work in progress is heading in the right direction, now if only it would go a bit quicker.
Of course as usual I send a hello to the bothersome Sid & the naughty bully that is Stanley, and their mum, a great friend & a truly lovely person.
All those regular readers who are no doubt missing Milo I can exclusively reveal that we will have two Milo stories next week, that should get the viewing figures up!!!!
If you want more updates on a regular basis please feel free to follow me on Twitter, all the best people are on there you know.
Same time & place next week.
Bad Hair Month, Bad Belly & Yummy Yummy Sweets
by Matt on Jun.10, 2009, under Blogs
And and so the time of the week that gets you all wet & happy, blog update day.
Last Wednesday was like so traumatic, for both P & I. It is going to go down in history as a day of disaster, a day truly to be reckoned with. It was time for us to have our hair cut, P had arranged for the hairdresser (you 
can tell how this is going as I use to say friend!!!) to come round. I thought he was rather bouncy & jolly when I met him from the station, but thought nothing of it, until later. It was my turn first so down I sat, what did I want done he enquired, short but not to short & I want my fringe still I said. Well what was don’t to my hair should right be punishable by a slow & very painful death. It is way to short, has no style to it, no texture and looks, quite bluntly a fucking state, I look like I should be on a 10 most wanted poster, for perverts! Worse still is I have no fringe, its gone. It is a sad say when not even P can get it styled to look nice as he usually makes it look good no matter what mess it is in. Worse still is that the hairdresser, I am using the term loosely here, then proceeded to tell me it looked cool & good, yes & Sid & Stan are well behaved. Then it got even worse, I can stay in & don’t have a job to go to, but P has a job where he faces the public everyday, on top of that he is fastidious about his hair. You can no doubt guess where this is going, he fucked P’s hair up too, made it too short & there is no style, P managed to sort it out afterwards thank heavens.
can tell how this is going as I use to say friend!!!) to come round. I thought he was rather bouncy & jolly when I met him from the station, but thought nothing of it, until later. It was my turn first so down I sat, what did I want done he enquired, short but not to short & I want my fringe still I said. Well what was don’t to my hair should right be punishable by a slow & very painful death. It is way to short, has no style to it, no texture and looks, quite bluntly a fucking state, I look like I should be on a 10 most wanted poster, for perverts! Worse still is I have no fringe, its gone. It is a sad say when not even P can get it styled to look nice as he usually makes it look good no matter what mess it is in. Worse still is that the hairdresser, I am using the term loosely here, then proceeded to tell me it looked cool & good, yes & Sid & Stan are well behaved. Then it got even worse, I can stay in & don’t have a job to go to, but P has a job where he faces the public everyday, on top of that he is fastidious about his hair. You can no doubt guess where this is going, he fucked P’s hair up too, made it too short & there is no style, P managed to sort it out afterwards thank heavens. Saturday was a nice day, P was off work so that made it a good start to the day. We then went to meet a friend by Canary Wharf as I was being uncharacteristically nice & lending him my old BB (Blackberry to those numb skulls amongst you) until his contract expires & he can get his own, which of course will not be configured as smoothly as my one. We met up & P wanted to try the Dim Sum at a restaurant he had found. Its called Lotus Floating Restaurant, as those astute of you will have guessed its a permanently moored boat (though looking at it I am pretty sure its a jetty made to look like a boat). It was very nice indeed, the food tasted good, the only criticism we had was that the variety want that great. The one we usually go to, in China Town, has afar greater selection. But all in all it was jolly good. The toilets are on the, what would be, basement level, its kind of freaky as if you look out the window the water is almost at the window. Its like taking a piss with Davey Jones.
Later in the afternoon P decided that as we have had 4 measly fish in the aquarium for ages now we should go get some new ones for it. So we traipsed all the way to Bethnal Green, where we proceeded to look round for about 30 minutes (P takes his time deciding what he wants to buy about anything from rice to clothes to fish) & he saw quite a few he liked, he looked at new tanks, he looked at goldfish. Then he decided that he didn’t want anything there, so off home we went.
So, Sunday morning saw my best friend & I, with Milo, going to East Ham, complete with body armour, to the aquatic centre. In we went and within 20 minutes we had looked at all the fish & I had decided which ones I wanted, this is after sending a photo to P for his approval ( I am not in the slightest scared he wouldn’t like them!!!). I chose 2 red parrot fish & 1 marble parrot fish. When we got them home they then took a couple of days to settle in. Fish seem to die in my tank, I clean it properly & feed them properly so no idea why, am curious how long these will last though, I am hoping they will be okay.
In the afternoon my best friend & I decided to go for some lunch (actually just quickly (like I ever say anything quickly) this is really making me think as Chuckles commented that I eat out a lot & I hadn’t realised until he said it, & here I am not 2 hours later writing twice so far about eating out) but as we had the Milo with us we were restricted to places that had gardens or outside tables. So we went to the Wetherspoon on Mile End Road, my friend went & ordered our food, had chose cottage pie & I egg, ham & chips (felt like fitting in with all the drunks in the area). After had been there for 15 minutes this stupid girl, with a belt with table cleaner attached to it (what’s that about, a utility belt for cleaners) came over & abruptly told us dogs were not allowed, in the outside area, what kind of stupidity is that. My friend told her we had ordered food to which she said we will have to go as soon as we had eaten, cheeky fucking bitch in her minimum wage job, not my fault she has no future ids it. When my food came (I will admit at this point that I can be a little selective about what I will & wont eat) the chips, what there were of them, were overcooked & had clearly been left in a warmer for too long, the eggs were a health risk, in my opinion!!!, the yoke was fine but the whites were not cooked thoroughly. Not being a fan of salmonella I left all but the ham. Needless to say as soon as I got home I was on my PC & sending an email of complaint!!!
Monday was the highlight of my week. It was very bitter sweet. The bitter part is that I went to the gym with Sid & Stan’s Mum, now the previous day she had been to the Capital Radio Summer Ball & managed to projectile vomit all over the stadium, she was therefore a little weaker than usual, much to my delight as she was wanting revenge for the nice things I say about her & her dreadfully behaved dogs. So she really made me work hard, perspiration was pouring off of me, it was like Niagara Falls. But then you will never guess (so I will rather graciously tell you) who was there, it was the regal Helen Mirren. Now those among you who are fortunate enough to know me well with attest that I am a major fan of hers. But nothing prepares you for the vision that she is in the flesh, she is very refined, carries herself with great posture. I said to my friend, she is like a gazelle, she mesmerises you with her poise, & this was in sweat pants & T shirt. I can see a career of stalking is ahead of me! But on a serious note, I far preferred this gym as it was quieter (you will remember my comments on music at LA Fitness), the equipment is cleaner & newer than my old gym, so all in all I am happier, or would have been had my friend not mistaken our workout for a dress rehearsal of the Spanish Inquisition.
The next day, yesterday was terrible. Firstly my kind friend had hit me on 2 different fronts in her quest for revenge, my body was aching & it hurt whenever I moved, it was pure agony & its a testament to my masculinity that I was able to move at all. But worse than that she had given me her bug, fortunately it was of the 24 hour variety. Yesterday morning I went to the toilet & it was like a scene from the Little Britain old racist woman but it wasn’t projectile from my mouth, think a little lower. It was horrible, the
smell alone could have cleared London had we not combated it with enough air deodoriser to clean the sewers (the similarity was not lost on me), but it happened every hour or so, and boy did I suffer. So after I had been to the dentist I retired to bed, between trips to the toilet in my, almost successful, attempt to smash the porcelain with radioactive matter. Milo was helpful as ever & decided to nurse me, he was under the impression that the best course for this was to lie all over me (taking great care to ensure he hit all my sore points) & lick me better!
smell alone could have cleared London had we not combated it with enough air deodoriser to clean the sewers (the similarity was not lost on me), but it happened every hour or so, and boy did I suffer. So after I had been to the dentist I retired to bed, between trips to the toilet in my, almost successful, attempt to smash the porcelain with radioactive matter. Milo was helpful as ever & decided to nurse me, he was under the impression that the best course for this was to lie all over me (taking great care to ensure he hit all my sore points) & lick me better!Today I went to see my friend near his work, Grays Inn Road, forgetting there was a tube strike. It was raining when I left so I couldn’t cycle as I normally do, sods law stayed true & it stopped within 10 minutes. So when we had finished I attempted to get a bus home. No such luck, I had to walk all the way. Fucking tube drivers, we are in the middle of a recession & those overpaid, lazy, greedy, wankers are striking as they want more money (when so many are out of work they should be thankful they have a job) & also, get this one, guarantees there will be no redundancies, in a recession, fire the fuckers & replace them I say. There’s my rant for this week.
But this morning more than made up for all that. A week or so ago CHuckles & I had a coinversation about 
American sweets. He said he was going to send some. Well, like I was speechless (a rare occassion indeed) this morning, I was out walking Rat Boy & P sent a text sayingh I had a parcel, so Milo practically dragged me home, he as ever presumed it was for him as why else does the world turn if not for him. I got home & there was a massive parcel I opened it by the contained method, throwing & ripping paper all over. When I opened the box it was like a fat persons wet, and choclatey (the memory from the day before frwsh in my mind, & other parts of my anatomy) dream. There was every variety of Reese, you have to try the safe Breaks, they are amazing. There were Bae Ruths whicjh I am now addicted to and sour kids candy (american for swets), these are sooooooo yummy that I have had to leave them in another room for fear there wouyld be none left. Oh boy am I going to need the gym more now.
American sweets. He said he was going to send some. Well, like I was speechless (a rare occassion indeed) this morning, I was out walking Rat Boy & P sent a text sayingh I had a parcel, so Milo practically dragged me home, he as ever presumed it was for him as why else does the world turn if not for him. I got home & there was a massive parcel I opened it by the contained method, throwing & ripping paper all over. When I opened the box it was like a fat persons wet, and choclatey (the memory from the day before frwsh in my mind, & other parts of my anatomy) dream. There was every variety of Reese, you have to try the safe Breaks, they are amazing. There were Bae Ruths whicjh I am now addicted to and sour kids candy (american for swets), these are sooooooo yummy that I have had to leave them in another room for fear there wouyld be none left. Oh boy am I going to need the gym more now.Same time same place next week, will miss you in he mean time.
Walks Again, Racing for Life & Southend
by Matt on Jun.03, 2009, under More Blogs
And so another week has passed us by, another week of tedium, of no job & increasing despondency. Not too much has happened this week but I will tell you about those things that have. I wasn’t going to update this week, but Chuckles would be besides himself with grief at missing out on his weekly slice of life across the Atlantic for his bestest, loveliest friend, that would be me.
Last Saturday my best friend & I decided to go for a walk up the canal, Regents. I often make this 
walk, as regular readers will know, as its a pleasant walk, has quite a few sight on the route, & of course Milo likes the canal, apart fro the water, ironic as it may seem. First of all we went to Broadway market, a small food market in Hackney, of course being Hackney we put Milo on guard dog mode which must have petrified the Chav locals. Its one of those that sells home made cakes, organic breads and such like, so of course most things cost twice as much as elsewhere due to the word organic or hand (you thought I was going to slip up & say hand made didn’t you?). I got a few quiche, just to be a cliché, and some nice cakes as well as a loaf of seeded bread (I love seeded bread). As I am sure you will remember, well those living in UK, Saturday was gloriously sunny, the weather was fabulous (sweetie, in my best Patsy voice darlings) but this, along with the assistants stupidity, had a downside.
walk, as regular readers will know, as its a pleasant walk, has quite a few sight on the route, & of course Milo likes the canal, apart fro the water, ironic as it may seem. First of all we went to Broadway market, a small food market in Hackney, of course being Hackney we put Milo on guard dog mode which must have petrified the Chav locals. Its one of those that sells home made cakes, organic breads and such like, so of course most things cost twice as much as elsewhere due to the word organic or hand (you thought I was going to slip up & say hand made didn’t you?). I got a few quiche, just to be a cliché, and some nice cakes as well as a loaf of seeded bread (I love seeded bread). As I am sure you will remember, well those living in UK, Saturday was gloriously sunny, the weather was fabulous (sweetie, in my best Patsy voice darlings) but this, along with the assistants stupidity, had a downside. When we left the market we made our way, rather slowly as Milo decided that he needed to sniff each inch of the path on the way, to Victoria Park. I was excited as where I am on my diet, to go from fat humungous pig to lithe sex god (a long, exceedingly, way to go then) I don’t get to eat cake often. When we arrived at Victoria Park we opened the bag only to notice that the assistance (hence the stupid referral earlier) had put the bread on top of the cakes & so they were all squashed & ruined. So I had to forego my stuff my face session, just my fat luck that is. Still on the plus side it saved an extra 2 hours on the treadmill, at level 150.
Sunday I was yet again up at 4.45 in the morning as was doing my bit of voluntary work, if I am not careful I will be burned on a stake or in danger of having a sainthood thrust upon me, I wonder
if I am up for an OBE yet, surely cant be long. It was the city Race For Life. It started in London Wall (those not in London get your arse onto www.Streetmap.co.uk) so I walked there, isn’t it fucking sods law that the one time I walk there I want a wee on the way, have you tried finding a public toilet in the city at that time of the morning, I ended up paying to go in one of those Tardis looking ones, alas David Tennant was not in to assist me, gutted I was. I have now got a application on my BB called www.sitorsquat.com its so cool. As ever I digress, so back to Race For Life. I was a volunteer, I helped to set it up, with someone I met at the last one I did (an Australian woman who when I first met her I was convinced she was a Lezzer, it turned out she is just Australian!!). Then I was asked to be a race marshal, I had to put a terrible Race Marshal florescent yellow vest on (I looked like a council workman, well apart from the beer belly & sitting around whistling at passers by, tempting though it was), and a radio with earpiece which I hated. I was asked to go to the traffic lights outside St Pauls & stop people going on the road when the race started. No idea why I fucking bothered. Would those of you who ever see one of these races please bear this in mind. People are giving up their time for a really worthwhile cause, as are the runners. If they ask you to respect the runners and volunteers by not crossing the road in front of them (when the road has been closed for this race) please don’t walk 10 feet up & fucking cross the road. How I managed to not call a number of people cunts is beyond me, I think I showed great restraint.
if I am up for an OBE yet, surely cant be long. It was the city Race For Life. It started in London Wall (those not in London get your arse onto www.Streetmap.co.uk) so I walked there, isn’t it fucking sods law that the one time I walk there I want a wee on the way, have you tried finding a public toilet in the city at that time of the morning, I ended up paying to go in one of those Tardis looking ones, alas David Tennant was not in to assist me, gutted I was. I have now got a application on my BB called www.sitorsquat.com its so cool. As ever I digress, so back to Race For Life. I was a volunteer, I helped to set it up, with someone I met at the last one I did (an Australian woman who when I first met her I was convinced she was a Lezzer, it turned out she is just Australian!!). Then I was asked to be a race marshal, I had to put a terrible Race Marshal florescent yellow vest on (I looked like a council workman, well apart from the beer belly & sitting around whistling at passers by, tempting though it was), and a radio with earpiece which I hated. I was asked to go to the traffic lights outside St Pauls & stop people going on the road when the race started. No idea why I fucking bothered. Would those of you who ever see one of these races please bear this in mind. People are giving up their time for a really worthwhile cause, as are the runners. If they ask you to respect the runners and volunteers by not crossing the road in front of them (when the road has been closed for this race) please don’t walk 10 feet up & fucking cross the road. How I managed to not call a number of people cunts is beyond me, I think I showed great restraint.So after I had finished on the course I headed back to the finishing line to help. On the way something happened that I could not believe. I was with two other volunteers, females, & we saw this Porsche driving, trying to cut across the runners. Now bear in mind that the police have closed all these roads, so I went over to him & asked what he was doing, he said he needed to go down the road on the right, I, rather politely, told him if he did that he would be going through the race & he cant do that, he can either pull over or take the road on the left, he said that isn’t where he wants to go, so I, still politely, said he cant go right as the police have closed the roads & they will nick him if they see him. He said he was going anyway, then I wasn’t so polite & told him if he wanted to be a twat to go ahead & I will make sure the police know where he is. So he went, I got on my radio & the police did indeed nick him, fucking great.
I did then get back to the finishing line, ahead of most of the runners, how slow are they, & helped there, then I helped to take everything down. All in all it was another good day & I am quite looking forward to the next one.
Monday was another delightfully sunny day. So my best friend & I, with Milo’s input, decided to go to Southend for the day. On the train we hopped, not literally as it was deemed unfair as Milo cant 
technically hop. When we got there I could not believe the amount of Chavs (or as Sid & Stan’s mum would say, or rather does say ‘full of fucking inbreeds’ in her usual cockney twang that makes me look round for Dot) that were wandering round with their tops off & what looked like prison tattoos on display, even the younger ones had those terrible Bermuda shorts on & their underwear showing, class & fashion seem to have escaped Southend. But we had a good time, I went & saw a (unchav like) friend who works in one of the stores there, which was good. We then went down to the front to a Fish & chip restaurant that Sid & Stan’s mum had recommended. It was nice but not as great as she had made it out to be (but then she is more likely to eat jellied eels & cockles with her pie & mash) & definitely not as nice as the ones from the Fish House just by Victoria Park, but the best to date are from Bideford. We then went & sat in a park for a while so I could shout down the phone at O2, & end up putting the phone down (I do miss the old phones that you can slam down with satisfaction) after calling the guy on the end a dumb fucking idiot. So we celebrated me keeping my cool by getting some donut which were rather nice, Milo thought so as well, but then he would eat anything you gave him.
technically hop. When we got there I could not believe the amount of Chavs (or as Sid & Stan’s mum would say, or rather does say ‘full of fucking inbreeds’ in her usual cockney twang that makes me look round for Dot) that were wandering round with their tops off & what looked like prison tattoos on display, even the younger ones had those terrible Bermuda shorts on & their underwear showing, class & fashion seem to have escaped Southend. But we had a good time, I went & saw a (unchav like) friend who works in one of the stores there, which was good. We then went down to the front to a Fish & chip restaurant that Sid & Stan’s mum had recommended. It was nice but not as great as she had made it out to be (but then she is more likely to eat jellied eels & cockles with her pie & mash) & definitely not as nice as the ones from the Fish House just by Victoria Park, but the best to date are from Bideford. We then went & sat in a park for a while so I could shout down the phone at O2, & end up putting the phone down (I do miss the old phones that you can slam down with satisfaction) after calling the guy on the end a dumb fucking idiot. So we celebrated me keeping my cool by getting some donut which were rather nice, Milo thought so as well, but then he would eat anything you gave him. Today I went to meet a friend for coffee in London Bridge, me being me I went to the wrong Nero’s. But in fairness I was distracted as was listening to Stephens Fry’s new mini audio book, rather entertaining it is too. It was good to catch up with my friend once I made it to the right place. He has just bought a flat so he told me all about that, how exciting is that, I love it when you move into a new place & decorate it & get it the way you want it.
I also ordered some new accessories for my BB today so keep an eye out on here for a picture once they all arrive, presuming of course I don’t fuck it all up!
P & I were supposed to go to movies this evening but alas we got there to late & so couldn’t see it, so a review for Terminator Salvation will be up next week not this, my sincere apologies.
As ever a big hello to Sid & Stan, who continue to be the naughtiest dogs I know, & though Milo
continues to be an exemplary example of good behaviour & decorum they don’t seem to grasp it, bit to late for the unruly bothersome brothers me thinks.
continues to be an exemplary example of good behaviour & decorum they don’t seem to grasp it, bit to late for the unruly bothersome brothers me thinks.See you next week then you lovely & delightful people.
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