Spin, Crap Boilers & BOOM!
by Matt on Feb.10, 2010, under Blogs
Hello all, how has your week been then? Hope its been fine and dandy.
So this week I have been making a concerted, though most would say a little late, effort to lose some of the masses of excess fat that I have, I have done this by watching what I eat. When I say
watching what I eat what I mean is that I look art food dribbling but don’t allow myself to buy any and put in cupboards to snack on later. I also if I do buy something don’t get a couple of extra ones ‘just in case’. I have also gone to the torture chamber more, well once would be more but I have been like three times, what a twat I am. I have been doing spin, which for those who don’t know is not some sexual position (unfortunately) but when this manic person, usually a female (go figure) shouts incoherently and you all cycle on the bikes with no wheels, its quite hard work despite my scant description. The only problem is that where you are on and off the saddle all the time it really does give you a sore butt (I have heard all the comments, and yes its the usual pain with out the fun attached). But it seems to be working as I seem to, far too, slowly be losing weight. I also am trying to cut as much wheat out of my diet as I possible can. So why I constantly ask myself am I still as fat as a house.
watching what I eat what I mean is that I look art food dribbling but don’t allow myself to buy any and put in cupboards to snack on later. I also if I do buy something don’t get a couple of extra ones ‘just in case’. I have also gone to the torture chamber more, well once would be more but I have been like three times, what a twat I am. I have been doing spin, which for those who don’t know is not some sexual position (unfortunately) but when this manic person, usually a female (go figure) shouts incoherently and you all cycle on the bikes with no wheels, its quite hard work despite my scant description. The only problem is that where you are on and off the saddle all the time it really does give you a sore butt (I have heard all the comments, and yes its the usual pain with out the fun attached). But it seems to be working as I seem to, far too, slowly be losing weight. I also am trying to cut as much wheat out of my diet as I possible can. So why I constantly ask myself am I still as fat as a house.We have had major issues with our boiler at home, its led me to re-enforce my opinion that a vast majority of repairmen in Britain are bloody useless, incompetent and in adept fools who couldn’t fix a plug. So it started last week, the boiler stopped working, J called the emergency number who said someone would be round in the morning. Like hell did they turn up, when our friends chased it they said they had no record of the call from the night before, the twats. So they told my friend they would come the next day, like a fool he accepted this, once he told me I didn’t! So I phoned the boiler company and after I diplomatically pointed out the errors of their ways they agreed that they could have an engineer there that day, funny that right? When he got there he said the error code it was showing means the fan has gone, so he changed it. Oh the delight that evening the luxury of running hot water from taps (faucet if you’re a yank)…..
Then two days later the fucking useless thing piece of crap went again, so yet again J (he somehow got the idea that I would piss the operator off and not be calm, no idea why he would think that) called the emergency helpline (now there’s a contradiction in terms) and they said, after some persuading, and background shouting (must have been Milo!), they said they would come out the next day, which was yesterday. And indeed they did, I am told they changed the circuit board and stripped the boiler down only to discover it was the fan again, they think. They took all day to find that out, I mean it was the same error code both times so heaven forbid it might actually be the same problem, the dumb idiotic fools, how thick can you be, I ask you. So apparently they have to get the part and will fix it, again, today, its only taken them over a week, imbeciles.
Friday saw me taking the little rat to the Doggie Doctor for his check up. As no one will be 
surprised he is in perfect health. This is despite me worrying the: he is to thin (no he is the perfect shape), his tooth is chipped should I take him to the dentist (no it is a small chip, the enamel has not gone so just keep an eye on it, he does not need a gold tooth whatsoever), his beard isn’t long enough (that’s because you have it trimmed at the groomers and only show dogs have them long as they get too messy), he sleeps a lot (he is a dog that’s what they do), do you think that he is under weight (no, he is the perfect weight for his size and breed), is he definitely a schnauzer as his fur isn’t grey (he is definitely a schnauzer and a pedigree and his fur is a good colour, not all dogs have a uniformed colour, he also is still young so will change colour as gets older), he cries a lot (that’s because you spoil him, pick him up and give him what he wants when he cries, he is the smart one!!!). So that was a good visit then, assuaged my worries for another couple of months.
surprised he is in perfect health. This is despite me worrying the: he is to thin (no he is the perfect shape), his tooth is chipped should I take him to the dentist (no it is a small chip, the enamel has not gone so just keep an eye on it, he does not need a gold tooth whatsoever), his beard isn’t long enough (that’s because you have it trimmed at the groomers and only show dogs have them long as they get too messy), he sleeps a lot (he is a dog that’s what they do), do you think that he is under weight (no, he is the perfect weight for his size and breed), is he definitely a schnauzer as his fur isn’t grey (he is definitely a schnauzer and a pedigree and his fur is a good colour, not all dogs have a uniformed colour, he also is still young so will change colour as gets older), he cries a lot (that’s because you spoil him, pick him up and give him what he wants when he cries, he is the smart one!!!). So that was a good visit then, assuaged my worries for another couple of months.Saturday I was at the salon which as ever was cool, I compiled most of the latest newsletter as well as sorting out all the silly Blackberry and sync issues they had, you need to plug it in and push sync! Then I went home and got changed as P & I decided to go to the floating Chinese restaurant that there is in Docklands (okay its more like Isle of Dogs really, well the clientele seemed to be). We went there once before, but that was for dim sum, and rather enjoyed it. This time we were met by this waiter with all the manners of a troll, to add insult he had badly dyed (you know when you highlight your hair and don’t leave it for the correct amount of time and it goes off colour, in this case yellow!!!), far too much gel, no style, it was just swept back. He has teeth that were uneven, cheap ill fitting trousers and nasty shoes with a waistcoat 2 sizes to big for his insect like body, al in all he looked like one of the rat villains in a Disney movie version of Oliver. But when we were sat down we got a nice waitress (who I will not pick to pieces) and J ordered some nice food (yes Chuckles eating again). So all in all it was a nice evening.
Sunday was a jolly nice day. After I had taken that rat out for his walk, well run and play and generally get as dirty as is possible in the time he has. But after that we headed into the West End 
(central London for those who are not familiar with the local terminology, or just to plain thick to understand), as J wanted to look round some shops, we have such different taste in shops, he wanted to go in Hennes, Top Man etc, so I walked round with him, wondering why people like these clothes. But P got a few bits that he liked sop that was good, and OMG guess what I found, there was this packet of sweets so with no interest in the clothes I picked them up, and went flying back to my childhood (what a good memory I have) as this packet had Fruit Salad and Black jacks in it, I of
course had to get some. After this we headed to Soho as I had seen a fish and chip (don’t you love fish and chips? it is by far one of my favourite meals, easily pleased I am, well not really as I am not all that keen on the chips and the batter has to be just right for me to like it) shop that I wanted to try, and aghast I still am as we both really liked it, definitely one to go to again. We then headed to Crumpler as I wanted a new bag, I have a thing for bags. We spent ages dismantling a load, trying them for space, how big were they, how small, all over a bag, in the end I chose one as I liked the colour of the lining!!!!!
(central London for those who are not familiar with the local terminology, or just to plain thick to understand), as J wanted to look round some shops, we have such different taste in shops, he wanted to go in Hennes, Top Man etc, so I walked round with him, wondering why people like these clothes. But P got a few bits that he liked sop that was good, and OMG guess what I found, there was this packet of sweets so with no interest in the clothes I picked them up, and went flying back to my childhood (what a good memory I have) as this packet had Fruit Salad and Black jacks in it, I of course had to get some. After this we headed to Soho as I had seen a fish and chip (don’t you love fish and chips? it is by far one of my favourite meals, easily pleased I am, well not really as I am not all that keen on the chips and the batter has to be just right for me to like it) shop that I wanted to try, and aghast I still am as we both really liked it, definitely one to go to again. We then headed to Crumpler as I wanted a new bag, I have a thing for bags. We spent ages dismantling a load, trying them for space, how big were they, how small, all over a bag, in the end I chose one as I liked the colour of the lining!!!!!Tonight I am off with some divine friends (T, Tranny, Martini and Buzzy) to see a TV show so you will hear all about that next week. I have arranged to met Buzzy outside the men’s toilet at Waterloo in the hope that she will find a man, desperate should she is, in aiding this I have suggested she have no knickers on, a sign saying 70% off and looking desperate, her every day look then, if she disappears into a cubicle with some random guy you know why. At least she will save on batteries.
Saw T at the weekend when she was walking the rabble she kindly calls dogs, and that was a wonderful experience as ever, she is loving her new found fame as star, well lets face it minor co-star of this legendary blog, so lets mention her a bit more if she would get off her ass and come out more often.
Now then BOOM!!!! I was listening to the latest instalment today on the tube, jigging away like 
Christopher Walken in the Fat Boy Slim video (Okay so I had a suit on the similarity ends there), and it was captivating, I hope you are all listening. At
the moment the Chuckles guy is running a competition where you have to get a photo of people saying ‘I listen to BOOM! or something like that and send it in, I am doing it to appease him, as he is fantastic. Here is an example for you to see, so please all send me your one and I will send it to Chuckles, I implore and beseech you to send me one please. And more to the point subscribe.
Christopher Walken in the Fat Boy Slim video (Okay so I had a suit on the similarity ends there), and it was captivating, I hope you are all listening. At the moment the Chuckles guy is running a competition where you have to get a photo of people saying ‘I listen to BOOM! or something like that and send it in, I am doing it to appease him, as he is fantastic. Here is an example for you to see, so please all send me your one and I will send it to Chuckles, I implore and beseech you to send me one please. And more to the point subscribe.I am out of here.
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